


Only Fools

by orphan_account



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Accidents, Fluff and Angst, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Mentions of Hanamaki/Matsukawa, No one is ok, Oneshot, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-27
Updated: 2016-03-27
Packaged: 2018-05-29 10:20:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6371032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All Oikawa wanted was for Iwaizumi to smile, for him to just be there, alive. Their life together had ended before it had even started. Honestly, what a shitty thing for Iwaizumi to do, dying before Oikawa could confess and leaving him behind like this. God, what an asshole.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Only Fools

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first fic and i had to make it a death fic, oops  
> i think i cried while writing this, haha  
> enjoy !!
> 
> inspired by fools - troye sivan

It was in the middle of summer when it happened.  
The teacher droned on and on, whilst indicating vaguely towards some algebra equation on the blackboard that Oikawa didn't understand. He stifled a yawn and observed the classroom. The other students were behaving similarly, drained from the wet, clingy heat that the fans failed to drive out of the classroom. Nobody seemed to be paying attention. Oikawa turned back to the front of the room.

Two seats in front of Oikawa was Iwaizumi, who was at least listening to the teacher. From this angle, Oikawa had quite a good view of his back. What a nice back he has. Oikawa mused, before he realised what he was thinking in the middle of class and buried his face in his face, trying to hide his blush. Fuck, I really do like him, don't I? Oikawa thought. He desperately wanted to tell Iwaizumi how he felt, but Oikawa was afraid of Iwaizumi's reaction. What would happen if he rejected Oikawa? Or worse, just snorted and walked away? Oikawa wasn't sure that he'd be able to live with that.

The shrilling bell interrupted Oikawa's thoughts, startling him. He began to hastily pack away his belongings and stood up just as his classmates bowed to the teacher and streamed out the door, most likely to find a place with air-conditioning that worked. Iwaizumi had stayed behind to ask the teacher about something, so Oikawa waited at the door, humming softly. He had made up his mind. 

"You really didn't have to wait for me, idiot." Iwaizumi huffed, sliding the door closed as he and Oikawa came out of the classroom.  
"Aww, Iwa-chan. I wanted to walk with you! We don't have volleyball practice today." Oikawa pouted, and bumped Iwaizumi gently with his shoulder. Oikawa was now very aware that they were walking with their shoulders touching. He could feel his face growing hotter, and it was not just the sun, now blazing down on them. The pair stopped as they reached the entrance to the school.

"Hey, Iwa-chan," said Oikawa. "I have something very very important to tell you tomorrow, okay? Don't forget to come to school, or I'll be super sad."  
"Whatever, Shittykawa. You know that I come to school every day."  
"Pinky promise?"  
"Yeah, I promise." sighed Iwaizumi, linking his finger with Oikawa's.  
"Okay! See you tomorrow!" Oikawa seemed to sparkle. Iwaizumi waved.

 

ー◇ー

 

The sun was almost beginning to set by the time Oikawa reached his street, and the air was cooling slightly. Oikawa looked up as he felt the first drops of rain. The sky had started to cloud over. Oikawa ducked under a bus shelter just as the downpour started. What a bother. Oikawa sighed. He sat down on the cool metal bench and pulled out his cell phone. 1% remaining, declared the phone. Fabulous. Exactly what Oikawa needed.

Should Oikawa wait it out, or venture into the rain and risk death and ruining his hair? It wasn't a hard decision. But how long was it until the rain stopped? Ten minutes? Twenty minutes? An hour? Five hours? Oikawa leant back on the bench and listening to the pounding beat of the rain on the tin roof of the bus shelter. This is so lame, Oikawa thought, running his fingers through his damp hair. Oikawa was hungry, too. Where was his supply of milk bread when he needed it?

The thundering of water ceased a little. Maybe it was finally safe to go home. Oikawa picked up his bags and trudged out into the puddles. He was more than a little pissed. He could have been home, practicing his confession to Iwaizumi, or something. The mere thought of that sent a shiver down Oikawa's spine. People often assumed that Oikawa was some kind of smooth player, who was charming, seductive and what not. In reality, Oikawa was probably as bad as confessing as anyone else, maybe even worse. Especially when it's Iwaizumi. Oikawa could only hope that he doesn't trip and kick Iwaizumi in the shins while confessing. That would be very very bad, to say the least.

Oikawa was absolutly exhuasted when he finally arrived home. Something felt off. Oh, right, his parents didn't seem to be back yet. Oikawa was too tired to care, anyway. Kicking his shoes off, Oikawa flopped onto his couch and yawned. He reached for the plastic remote control and turned on the television. It was tuned to the local news station. A young woman was announcing the news headlines

"A 65 year old male has died upon impact with an approaching train after falling onto the track, along with a high school student who attempted to save him. Aoba Johsai student, Iwaizumi Hajime, 18, has died after being transferred to hospital...."

Iwaizumi... Hajime? What kind of sick joke was this? Died? No way. No, no. This is a massive prank. Oikawa would call him, and everything would be fine. Yes! Iwaizumi was just at home, watching tv like Oikawa is, and he was just tired or something. Oikawa grabbed the house phone and dialled Iwaizumi's number, which Oikawa had memorised. 

"Hello, this is—"  
"Oh my god, Iwa-chan! Are you okay? I think I just heard..."  
"—Iwaizumi Hajime's voicemail. I'm currently away right now, so please leave a message after the tone, and I'll get back to you later."

Oikawa hung up.

No, there's no way this is real. Iwaizumi had promised, right? Oikawa was going to confess to him, and he was going to say yes, and then they'll kiss, and they'll go on dates and have fun and laugh together and graduate together and go to college and get married and, and... Oikawa sat in shock as the truth sank in. Iwaizumi would never come back to school the next day, and Oikawa would never be able to tell Iwaizumi how much he loved him. They won't go out, they won't kiss or go on dates or go to college together or graduate together or get married. 

Iwaizumi would never ask Oikawa whether he was okay, if he was eating enough or resting enough. There would be nobody to called him Shittykawa, Trashykawa or Assikawa anymore. No one to play volleyball with. Because he's gone. And Oikawa would never see him ever again.  
Iwaizumi could have left that old man alone, and none of this would even have happened. But like the idiot that he is, he jumped onto the tracks, tried to save that guy and died too. Iwaizumi had so much more of his life left, compared to that guy. He was going to die anyway. Oikawa hated himself for thinking like this, but he couldn't stop it. It doesn't matter anymore. It's too late now. They're both gone.

Oikawa didn't even care whether or not Iwaizumi would reject him. All Oikawa wanted was for Iwaizumi to smile, for him to just be there, alive. Their life together had ended before it had even started. Honestly, what a shitty thing for Iwaizumi to do, dying before Oikawa could confess and leaving him behind like this. God, what an asshole.

Oikawa didn't realise he was crying until he looked down and saw his tear splattered uniform. He rolled over on the couch and sobbed until he fell into a deep sleep.

 

ー◇ー

 

Oikawa dreamt.  
In his dream, nothing had ever gone wrong.  
The bell rings for homeroom. Oikawa catches Iwaizumi's eye as the students crowd into the classroom. The teacher enters, and orders the class to stand. The sound of scraping chairs fills the air.  
"Bow."  
"Good morning, everyone."  
"Sensei, good morning." The class replies monotonously.  
"Please sit."

The day continues peacefully, until the last bell of the day finally rings.  
"Iwa-chan!" Oikawa calls, after they had entered the gym for volleyball practice. "Could you wait a few minutes after practice? I wanna talk to you." Oikawa plays with the hem of his shirt nervously.  
"Oh, sure. I don't have much homework anyway." Iwaizumi puts down his bags as they enter the change rooms. Oikawa has to force his gaze away as Iwaizumi begins to take off his shirt. Oikawa changes into his volleyball uniform and walks out onto the courts with Iwaizumi.

Practice finishes without much drama, if you didn't count when a ball fell on Kindaichi's head and flattened his hair. Almost everyone was choking with laughter, except Oikawa, who was becoming more and more anxious as practice continued. 

"Hey, Trashikawa, what did you want to talk about?" says Iwaizumi. Oikawa flinches. He takes a deep breath.  
"Iwa-chan, I really really like you and I've loved you since a long time ago because you're just so cute and hot and—"  
"Whoa wait, Oikawa, wha—?"  
"—and yesterday I heard that you died or something.." Tears fall down Oikawa's cheeks and drip off the edge of his chin. "And I was so so sad and I don't know what I would do without you in my life and—"

Iwaizumi put his hands gently on Oikawa's cheeks, and brushes away a tear with his thumb. His eyes soften.  
"What are you talking about, dumbass? I'm right here." says Iwaizumi, and presses his lips to Oikawa's. He kisses Iwaizumi back, not caring that he was crying and his face was probably wet and salty from tears and that people were staring at them. He didn't care, because Iwaizumi has his arms around Oikawa, his lips on Oikawa's too, and Oikawa has to admit that it feels better than winning any volleyball tournament. Iwaizumi pulls away softly.  
"Hey, Iwa-chan." sniffles Oikawa, looking up at Iwaizumi with wet eyes. "Does this mean we're dating now?"  
"What do you think, Assikawa?" Iwaizumi flushes. Oikawa grins and buries his face into Iwaizumi's neck, with their arms still around each other. Oikawa feels that they could have stayed like that forever.

Of course, like every cliched story ending, it was all a dream.

 

ー◇ー

 

Beep, beep, beep, beep  
Oikawa swung his arm towards the approximate area of his alarm clock. His arm missed the button and sent the alarm hurtling to its doom (the floor).  
Crash!

"Oh my fucking god." Oikawa groaned, and managed to stumble into the bathroom adjacent his room and splash some cold water onto his face. He looked up at the mirror and stared at his own reflection. Oikawa looked terrible. His eyes were red and swollen from crying and there were dark circles under them. It was only then that Oikawa remember what had happened yesterday, and that he was still in his uniform. His parents must have carried him into his room when they came home. 

Oikawa crawled back into his room and picked up his phone. There were several texts from Makki and Mattsun, to ask whether he was ok. Oikawa silently thanked them for not saying how sorry they were, and meaningless things like that. He knew that he wasn't the only one grieving Iwaizumi, and being angry was simply a selfish thing to do. He scrolled down further, and found two texts from Iwaizumi.

[Yesterday 4:16 PM] Iwaizumi said: hey oikawa, i don't feel great so i don't think i'll be able to come to school tmr

[Yesterday 4:17 PM] Iwaizumi said: i'll call u when i get home, k

4:16 AM. The next train came at half past 4. The train that killed Iwaizumi.  
Oikawa could have told him to come to his house, with that last 1% of battery he had. 14 minutes was plenty of time. Oikawa could have faked an injury and make Iwaizumi come to fetch him, even though he'd get angry and punch Oikawa if he finds out. But Iwaizumi would still be alive. Oikawa hated himself.

 

ー◇ー

 

The funeral was small one. Only Iwaizumi's family and Oikawa attended. Oikawa was dressed in a stiff, black suit. It felt like a straitjacket. The cemetery was on a rocky cliff, overlooking the sea. The sky was clouded over, and the air was foggy. The ocean breeze blew into Oikawa's face, making his eyes water. Oikawa didn't feel like crying, though. The wailing of Iwaizumi's parents sounded strangely distant. Somehow, Oikawa felt at peace. He placed a single flower onto Iwaizumi's grave and walked off into the fog.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading !!!  
> i wrote this while procrastinating on an essay and ended up writing twice as much as i needed to for my essay.
> 
> also, while you're here, check out my tumblr !!  
> ↳ oikvw.tumblr.com
> 
> ilysm


End file.
